Now, I’ve been asked to speak at classes at UCLA, too.  It never fails to trip me out.  Surely they must know bigger and better writers than lil' old me.  Am I doing it right?  Do I try to be realistic or inspiring?  It seems like five minutes ago that I was sitting there all wide-eyed and overzealous. 

It’s weird when the writer is asked to become the performer.  And it seems no more expected than from the sitcom writer.

This isn’t surprising.  Comedy writers are supposed to be “on” in the room at all times, right?  It’s one thing to be funny when writing for characters or breaking stories, and quite another to have people watching you with baited breath, waiting for hilarity to ooze from your pores.  Not all comedy writers are funny—anyone who’s ever been to a writing panel can tell you that—so sometimes I entertain the idea of being a total dud when I speak, just to lower the bar and give everyone hope…?

But it just so happens that I like to perform.  It lets me get back in touch with the pinnacle of my thespian career: Mrs. Eulalie Mackechnie Shinn in the Christian Brothers’ high school production of “The Music Man.”  I just get into character: Super Awesome Successful Sitcom Writer… and wait for my lines to come.

This technique proved especially helpful recently when a close friend asked me to be the Master of Ceremony for the 90-minute “Program” at his wedding reception.  His request went something like this: “You’re a comedy writer and you love to tell stores, so I knew you’d love to do it.  Just be your usual, funny self!”  Sure, no problem.  Sitcom writer equals standup, right?  Oh, and that part about entertaining hundreds of Indian family members and friends who flew in from Bombay so I could make them laugh with tasteful, universally-funny material on the most important day of my best friends’ lives?  Piece of (wedding) cake.

So I did what any writer in my position would do.  I wrote a script.  –Oh, and I enlisted an Indian guy to get up there with me (for authenticity… and name pronunciation).  I wrote sixteen pages of beautifully Final-Drafted banter, which we practiced until it had no trace of stilted Emmy-telecast delivery.  Consequently, our MC debut went off without a hitch.  We were the hit of the Desai Wedding.  Would you believe it?  I was “just as funny as he expected me to be.”  I smiled gracefully as though I never had any doubt.

I guess it’s good to have a bit of a performer in you, but no matter your comedy writing experience, it’s natural to panic a bit when someone hands you a mic with the simple request, “be funny!”  If character- or story-driven humor is your forte, work that.  Find a character or create a story.  It definitely helps when you’re playing the role of Guest Speaker or entertaining a crowd of 500. 

When in doubt… script it!

If you’re interested in reading some of Alessia’s work you can visit her website at www.alessiacostantini.com